Resolving Conflict 11/15/2003 Conflict is an unavoidable feature of every human relationship and can lead to constructive as well as destructive outcomes. The only way to avoid conflict is to say nothing, do nothing, be nothing. Conflict is not necessarily �bad.� It would be a dull world if everyone were always in agreement. One way to view conflict in a positive light is to recognize that it is often the basis for defining new directions. It offers new challenges from which we can learn and grow. Conflict Resolution Skills Active Listening: To actively listen, one must listen to seek understanding of the other person�s point of view before giving or defending their own. Assertive Communication: Be aware of your tone when attempting to resolve conflict. It is important to state your wants and needs in a respectful and honest manner while acknowledging the other person also has wants and needs. Other Suggestions: Break the conflict into smaller parts that can be dealt with individually. Choose an appropriate time to deal with the conflict, preferably after there has been an opportunity for individuals to calm down and look at the facts more objectively. Use a time out period when emotions begin to run high. After the time out, return to discussion of the specific problem rather than unrelated evidence that can escalate the situation. Remember, it is better to move slowly toward a solution that will be long lasting than to seek a quick resolution. Ground Rules for Resolving Conflict Conflict can be a stressful and frustrating experience. Following ground rules agreed upon by both parties can ensure the process is as positive, fair and as equitable as possible. Your ground rules may include: Keep interactions respectful - avoid put-downs, name calling and interruptions. Maintain emotional control to provide a safe environment for resolving differences. Show that you are willing to understand and communicate honestly and openly. Take turns listening and speaking. Avoid generalizations such as �You always� or �You never.� Avoid speculation, rumors and assumptions. Express your concerns with �I� rather than �You� statements. Keep in mind the desired outcome is mutual resolution to the problem. When necessary, use formal mediation to help maintain balance with delicate issues.